The following is a summary of the McKinsey article by Jacqueline Brassey, Aaron De Smet, and Michiel Kruyt, about developing "dual awareness". It comes on the back of their new book "Deliberate Calm". I also include examples to try and illustrate each level in a more concrete way. To some degree, I think the article is a little idealised, and at the same time I believe there is a lot of wisdom to connect with and work with in what they share. For me it reflects the concept of vertical development from reactive to creative / choiceful responding that is so powerful in life and leadership.
Developing dual awareness involves cultivating awareness of both our inner emotional state and the external circumstances in our environment. This duality refers to the ability to be skilfully aware of our inner world (our thoughts, emotions, beliefs etc.) and the outer world (the situations that we find ourselves in and the people we interact with) at the same time. Brassey, De Smert and Kruyt explore how this awareness is crucial for effective leadership and communication, as it allows us to adapt our responses to different situations. However I'd go further and say it's crucial for effective communication across all our relationships and interactions in both our private and work life.
There are five levels of awareness that we can progress through as we develop dual awareness. I believe it’s important to understand that we are rarely at a single level in our life, more often a spread across the levels depending on the context, situation, others involved and our mood in the moment.
Unaware: At this level, we react impulsively and emotionally to situations without understanding the reasons behind our reactions. We don't consider the impact of our leadership style or communication on others. We are unaware of our unproductive patterns and behaviours. We may not notice that our actions contribute to undesirable outcomes or that our mindset is limiting our potential.
Self-reflective: We start to recognise our emotional reactions but don't yet understand why we feel the way we do. We may notice patterns in our behaviour, but we haven't yet identified the root causes. At this stage, we start recognising our patterns and behaviours after they have occurred. Through reflection, we can identify moments when we reacted negatively or unproductively, allowing us to begin understanding our triggers and thought processes.
Perceptive: We become aware of the thoughts and emotions driving our reactions and can identify their sources. This allows us to see the connection between our internal state and our external environment, giving us greater insight into our behaviour. As we reach this level, we begin to observe our patterns and behaviours in real time, becoming conscious of the cues that signal a shift into a protective state. This self-awareness can be uncomfortable but serves as a gateway to greater awareness and growth.
Resilient: We develop techniques to manage our emotional reactions and remain calm under pressure. We might take breaks, practice deep breathing, or reframe situations to maintain composure. This helps us respond more effectively to challenges and reduces tension in our interactions with others. At this stage, we develop strategies to pause, calm down, and reframe challenging situations. These techniques help us redirect our responses, choosing a more productive reaction instead of acting from a place of emotion. With practice, we become more resilient in the face of challenges.
Adaptive: Here, we can quickly recognise and address our emotional reactions without needing to pause or take time-outs. We've internalised new ways of thinking and can respond effectively in the moment, fostering a more positive and supportive environment. At the fifth level, we become adaptive in our self-awareness journey, anticipating challenges in advance and preparing ourselves mentally to handle them effectively. We can quickly shift to a learning state without needing a time-out, responding to situations with our chosen mindset and behaviours. This level allows us to effectively navigate challenges while maintaining a strong sense of self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
The following diagram from the McKinsey article illustrates the 5 levels of awareness:
The following are some example situations to illustrate how we might react or respond from each level of awareness. Hopefully this will translate the above concepts into a more concrete and applicable form.
Example Situation A: The new product launch faces unexpected obstacles and delays.
Awareness Level 1: Unaware
Reaction: We may become frustrated with the situation, blaming external factors or team members without considering our own role in the delays. We fail to recognise any patterns or alternative approaches we could take to address the issues.
We might react by saying or thinking, "Why can't this team just get it together and sort out the issues? It's not rocket science!"
Awareness Level 2: Retrospective
Reaction: After the situation has occurred, we reflect on our actions and realize that our lack of planning or risk assessment may have contributed to the obstacles. We begin to recognise our role in the problem and seek to understand our patterns.
We might feel angry and frustrated that things aren't going smoothly, but not understand why we're reacting this way.
Awareness Level 3: Perceptive
Reaction: As the situation unfolds, we become aware of our emotional reaction and tendency to blame external factors or team members. We notice our frustration and start to question our own contribution to the problem, exploring how our leadership style or decision-making might be influencing the situation.
As we notice our jaw tensing up and our heart beating faster, we think, "I'm getting upset because the delays threaten the success of the product launch and my reputation as a leader."
Awareness Level 4: Resilient
Reaction: When we catch ourselves getting emotional, we take a time-out to pause, calm down, and reframe the situation. We consider how we can best support the team and address the issue constructively. This helps us choose a more effective response, improving our ability to navigate challenges and adapt to unforeseen circumstances.
Before responding emotionally, we take a deep breath and say, "Let's take a five-minute break and reconvene to discuss potential solutions for these obstacles."
Awareness Level 5: Adaptive
Reaction: Before the situation occurs, we anticipate potential challenges and mentally prepare ourselves to handle them effectively. We are able to quickly shift our mindset, address the issue, and provide support without needing a time-out. Our adaptive approach promotes a more constructive and proactive response, fostering a positive team environment and more successful product launch.
Without getting upset, we calmly ask, "What can we learn from these delays, and how can we work together to overcome the obstacles and achieve a successful product launch?"
Example Situation B: Conflicts and miscommunication arise among team members working on a project.
Awareness Level 1: Unaware
Reaction: We may ignore the conflicts or attribute them to personality clashes, failing to recognize our role in fostering a healthy team dynamic. We don't consider the impact of our leadership style or communication on the team.
We might react by saying or thinking, "You're a complete idiot! How could you let this happen?"
Awareness Level 2: Retrospective
Reaction: After the situation has occurred, we reflect on our actions and realize that our lack of clear expectations or support might have contributed to the conflicts. We begin to recognize our role in the problem and seek to understand our patterns.
We might think, "I'm furious that this employee's mistake is costing the company money, but I don't know why I'm reacting so harshly."
Awareness Level 3: Perceptive
Reaction: As the situation unfolds, we become aware of our emotional reaction and tendency to avoid addressing the conflicts. We notice our discomfort and start to question our own contribution to the problem, exploring how our leadership style or communication might be influencing the situation.
As we notice our face flushing and our voice becoming louder, we think, "I'm upset because this financial loss feels like a personal failure and a reflection of my leadership."
Awareness Level 4: Resilient
Reaction: When we catch ourselves getting emotional or avoiding the conflicts, we take a time-out to pause, calm down, and reframe the situation. We consider how we can best support the team and address the issue constructively. This helps us choose a more effective response, improving communication and resolving conflicts.
Before lashing out, we take a deep breath and say, "Let's discuss how this mistake occurred and what we can do to prevent it from happening again."
Awareness Level 5: Adaptive
Reaction: Before the situation occurs, we anticipate potential conflicts and mentally prepare ourselves to handle them effectively. We are able to quickly shift our mindset, address the issue, and provide support without needing a time-out. Our adaptive approach promotes a more constructive and proactive response, fostering a healthy team dynamic and more successful project outcome.
Without getting angry, we calmly ask, "What can we learn from this mistake, and how can we put measures in place to minimise the risk of similar errors in the future?"
Our journey to developing dual awareness
Developing dual awareness is a dynamic and non-linear process, with individuals often progressing and regressing through the levels as they encounter new challenges and situations. It’s important to understand that we are rarely at a single level in our life, more often a spread across the levels depending on the context, situation, others involved and our mood in the moment. However, in general, at lower levels, our reactions tend to be impulsive, emotional, and potentially damaging to relationships.
As we progress through the levels, we will learn to manage our emotions and respond more effectively and constructively, focusing on learning and problem-solving rather than blame and frustration.
The key is to practice mindfulness, self-reflection, and resilience techniques to improve our ability to adapt and respond effectively to the challenges we face in our personal and professional lives. Developing dual awareness enables us to become improve our ability to adapt to challenging situations and foster a more positive, supportive environment for ourselves and those around us.
References and further reading:
“Deliberate Calm: How to Learn and Lead in a Volatile World” (2022) by Jacqueline Brassey, Aaron De Smet and Michiel Kruyt